The Halcyon Days

...of my youth. Where have they gone? Ouch, ouch, ouch. And its not just my posterior that hurts. This is what twenty-three feels like, eh? Pretty much the same as before. A lot more aches though. Age, I suppose.
Yes, its been a while since I've updated. Been caught up. In Time. Growing up. Ageing. The last 23 years have gone by in a blur. Been living in one Big Time Warp. In capitals. By the way, we can call that BTW. So, the BTW has changed me. I used to be carefree, a flying falcon. No qualms. No worries. Hopes and Dreams. Fantasies and Fulfillment.
Am a grounded falcon now. Lots of worries. Responsibility. Unfulfilled Dreams. New Dreams. New Hopes. Not so many expectations of life. This isn't me. Where did I change? When did I grow up? I need to fly again.
I was talking to a friend today, and it got me thinking. I used to paint. To sketch. To let my emotions flow out in colours, shapes and myriad images. Its been more than a year since I really felt like doing that. Is it part of the process? You make new friends, you lose the old. You make new habits, you lose the old. You have new passions, you lose the old. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I should go out and buy some paints, pencils. Sketch some things.
Actually, its been a wonderful time growing up. I've had some amazingly great times in this BTW of mine. Home. Hyderabad. The Colony. Digging up the ground looking for buried kingdoms as a kid. Anonymous spaceship flights. Secret passageways to her house. Diwalis. Holis. Christmases. Growing up a little. IIT. My first time away from home. Hostel life, a girl. Midnight walks. Backdrop work. A lot of fun. Santa. A lot of pain. An extra year. Re-modeling my life. CAT. IIM. Another hostel, another girl. A birthday, and here I am. Its been a fast, whirlwind ride. A BTW.
Ah well, twenty-three. The world is at my feet, the road ahead is murky but presumably well-laid. I'll have gold showered upon me, and scantily-clad females feeding me grapes. I'll be a flying falcon once more. That's a birthday resolution for you. Maybe I should buy some paints. And at least, I still have my sense of humour.

The End

of Term Two. Finally. Its been a bit heady, filled with fumes from the intoxicating seas of Santraginus V, in the words of Douglas Adams.
A detailed analysis of the term? Let me see. It started pretty mildly, actually. A few company ppts, here and there. Resume mentors. Resumes. Classes, of course. A few painful courses, a few enjoyable. Life, in short, was rosy. Was this the dreaded term two that seniors talked about in hushed tones?
Suddenly, all hell broke loose. We were attending classes all morning, ppts all evening, and working on our resumes all night. The profs didn't leave us alone, of course. No, we had cases to prepare, surprise quizzes to mug for, the whole deal. Oh, and did I mention Vista? The MaSh Testament, of course was a tribute to creativity. And El Dorado, the treasure hunt, drummed up much enthu and really kickstarted the events at Vista. Finally, BestSellers. My baby. Probably the finest piece of work I've been involved with. It's almost Art. Of course, working on all this didn't really leave too much room for sleep. Quiz One came and went. So did Vista.
And suddenly, the companies were here. Recruiting. Lots of people. Not me, though. Day Zero came and went. Didn't get a sniff in. Day One. Hah. I was getting a little desperate here. Day Two. Finally, I strike gold. Suddenly, everyone is interested in me??!! After much deliberation, I've settled on Castrol. Summers is done with. Record placements and all that. Yay.
We'd finally settle down and have some calm now, right? Wrong. On come the courses. Projects in everything from MPPO to Marketing to Corporate Finance. Other pressures as well. Went to Chennai, came back, had a historic conversation. Moped around for the rest of the term.
But it's over. It was over the same nanosecond I gave my QM-II end-term answer sheet to one of the great GR's many minions who were hovering around. A first smile, a first sigh of relief in days.
And I'm off to Chennai. By the morning train. Chennai promises much rest and relaxation. It better keep that promise. Till next time. Adios.

The Explanation

I am the Walrus.
The Beatles, you know. They rocked. Here we go.

I am he as you are he as you are me
and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
see how they fly
I'm crying

Sitting on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy
you let your face grow long

I am the eggman They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Mr. city p'liceman sitting pretty little p'licemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky
See how they run
I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying

Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife
Pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
you let your knickers down

I am the eggman They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Sitting in an English garden
waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get a tan
from standing in the English rain

I am the eggman They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Expert, texpert choking smokers
don't you think the joker laughs at you
See how they smile like pigs in a sty
See how they snide
I'm crying

Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking
Edgar Allan Poe

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' goo
goo goo g' joob goo

----------
and that's the reason. Any further questions can be directed to a Mr. McCartney in England.

The Beginning

Midnight. January 1 2005. A new beginning. A fresh start. Right back at Alpha.
The world's at a party. Here I am in my room, looking at Kotler, and thinking about things that are not quite Kotler.
What a funny year its been. Ups and downs. Downs and Ups. Full of opposites. Birth, Death. Joy, Sorrow. Alpha and Omega. I'm rambling. As usual. Blogging is fun!
It started at the doors of a chap who couldn't declare me insane. Thankfully. Cos I'm not insane, really. At least, I don't think I am. Anyways, that's all water under the bridge. It was all on the cover of Newsweek, as one Paul Simon would say.
Oh yes, some time in the year i became a full-fledged certified Aerospace Engineer. That was a fun five years. Also had a bunch of interviews, got through to the IIMs, came to Bangalore, started the whole journey again. And I thought it was over. The same rat race, the same relative grading, the same fleeting faces, with their fleeting smiles.
Raced through the first term, enjoyed it, went home. Made friends, broke up, fell in love. Came back for term two, and sank. Like a stone. Strong decisions were taken this term. Strong emotions welled up. I'm not made for finance. I work when I can. If I can. Vista. Summers. Castrol. Sleep. Love. Hunger. Anger. Frustration. Rejection. Dejection. Elation. Evasion.
Ah yes, marketing. I think that's the way to go. Sherlock Holmes philosophy. When you have eliminated all possibilities, whatever remains, however improbable, must be true. Projects. Freeriders. Eating Out. L squares. Old friends. New. Old flames. New. And then there are those other problems that can't really be talked about.
But overall, a good year. Good things have also happened. No more grinch-like santas. A lot of people who seem to care. A lot of things to care about. A lot of things to look forward to.
And then my mind wanders back. Meandering to the one topic I want to avoid. The end-terms. About stuff like differentiation and positioning. About target markets and personal selling. About Jack Trout and Philip Kotler. And things not quite Kotler. This is going around in circles. So here I am going insane. Just like last year. Right back at Alpha. I'll quit while I'm ahead.
Oh and, Happy New Year World.

Alpha and Omega

Here we are then. Life Anew. My first attempt at blogging reached a sad standstill during my preparation for CAT and whatnot, and a new beginning always makes things seem better. Ask any major philosopher. Or a madman. Anyway, the hiatus obviously paid off - I'm on my way to IIMB. Yippee. Hopefully, this will continue. Okay, so maybe arbit folks getting gmail offers has influenced me a tiny little bit.

Who am I, then? And what is this? The story of an ordinary chap, who has (finally!!!) graduated, but who loves his life. His universe. Everything. From birth to death. Alpha to Omega. Jayanthi to Nirvana. Amen.

But then, this is also a mission. I won't say I'm inspired by AM's musings on his life at IIML - an inspiration is the last thing that comes to mind - and this is certainly meant to be more than a diary of daily events at IIM. However, it may (or more likely may not) provide insightful peeks into my life there (and therefore, to any gossip columnist who may want to start a forest fire)... and dutiful sudents mugging for CAT filled with illusions about India's best B-school may have fun reading this. Ah well, we can only hope.

Back to the beginning then. Omega to Alpha. My universe? Revolves around me. Myself. Ah, the universe of an egoistical guy. Being selfish pays off. Ask Ayn Rand. Or the panelists at my B interview. The universe also revolves around buttered popcorn, Calvin and Hobbes, landscapes (John Constable eh? eh?), books, books, books, Metallica, Elvis, Simon and Garfunkel, you name it. It doesn't include Bollwood films and/or music though. Ugh.

Am i rambling? Who really cares? Isn't this supposed to be an online diary of sorts? And diaries are private. Things that make sense to me and no one else protect my privacy. That's optimism. Guiding principle of my life. And life is good. Back at alpha. I'll quit while I'm ahead.
Bangalore beckons. Ahh.

New Years Eve Ramblings

Its official. The third year of the new millennium peters out to its destined end. As I look back on they year, it seems to me that (as usual), it had its good and bad times, but the bad seem to outweigh the good. No, let me rephrase that. The global seem to outweigh the local. Lots of epoch-making events have taken place. A year not to be easily forgotten. Certainly not by me. After all, I was supposed to graduate. Screw all attendance rules. Also, I lost a girl.

But, that’s a miniscule event compared to what happened elsewhere. I lost a year and a friend, Iraq lost a leader and had a war thrust on them, fifty thousand Iranians lost their lives in an earthquake that flattened a historic city. Dara Singh lost his case, and was sentenced to death, the Congress lost three major states in the by-elections. The United Nations seems to have lost its power over the nations, and the US economy is crashing. Tons of students who wrote CAT had their exam cancelled.

What happened to the hopes we had around the same time last year? It was a good time to hope. The US had defeated the Taliban, Afghanistan was free. The War against terror was calming down. The only jarring note was Osama still hadn’t been apprehended. Twelve months later, we’re still waiting for his capture. And the castles we built? Well, the tide turned. The waters rose, and as Parikrama would say, all the sandcastles have drowned.

But, there are some things that turned out quite well. India suddenly finds itself with some global status. The markets are soaring, the economy is booming, and there is peace on the border with Pakistan. Sikkim has been recognized by China. And, I started blogging. More castles will be built. The tide will turn again. And life will go on. As it always has.

January 1 is a time to make new resolutions, and the rest of the year, most of us do our utmost to break them. It’s the same with nations, countries, communities the world over. Castles will be built, castles will drown, they will be rebuilt. There is a lesson here for those who care to see it. It symbolizes the eternal struggle of humanity to rebuild itself, to reform; and the even greater struggle to destroy itself.

All that is said and done. It matters very little. What does matter, however, is that tradition is too strong to destroy. It’s the New Year, and its time to party. So break out the champagne. Happy New Year, all. Keep those castles intact.

Memories of a long lost universe

Once upon a time, in a galaxy not so far away, there was a small, insignificant little blue-green planet that orbited an insignificant star. On a fairly insignificant day in January, a boy child was born to an insignificant middle class family in an insignificant third world country in a year in which nothing significant happened. That boy was me.

So, my childhood. Kiddie Days. Well, I remember no cable TV. All I ever got to watch was Oshin and Pingu the Penguin on Doordarshan. Also, Ramayana and Mahabharata. On weekends. So, I did a heck of a lot of reading. Started with Noddy, of course. My cousins watch it on Cartoon Network. That's a shame. Soon graduated past the Enid Blyton mysteries to my first Hardy Boys when I was eight. Definitely too young. Scared the wits out of me. Stuck to Enid Blytons for a few more years then. Eventually, I was sneaking out the Sidney Sheldon thrillers from my mom's room. Tried an MB. Atrocious. How do gals read that crap? Then, I read Vladimir Narbokov's Lolita. Doff your hat to that book. A masterpiece of writing. An absolute gem. Changed my whole outlook on the fairer sex. Girls were no longer venomous things to be looked upon only with suspicion. They were amazingly well-rounded, soft, curvy, luscious creations of God. Sugar and spice and all that's nice. I never really liked that rhyme actually. Too sexist. Anyway, that's when IIT happened.

And, well, my reading habits changed. It was time to discard the cheap thrillers for the dark, deep novels. Kafka. Rushdie. Ayn Rand. And a girl as well. That's water under the bridge now though. Girls are poison once more. But the dark novels remain. I'm a changed person now. The zest, the enthusiasm, the so-called killer instinct is gone. I cry a lot more. I also smile a lot more. But the novels remain. Whatever else has happened, thank heavens the gift of reading has remained. Whatever else will happen, I know I can always drown myself in some novel and be lost to this world. The insignificant blue-green one. Another world beckons. One that encompasses everything from Never-Never land to the mythical land of Narnia. From dragons to hippogriffs to Alice and her Wonderland. Thank God for books.

Amen.